mentalhealth

“Stuff Happens”

We all know the other version of that phrase, but I am trying to be professional right now. Sometimes in life, stuff happen. Challenges that you are faced with, and you get to decide how to respond. It can be as simple as someone taking a parking spot you were going for. You can’t control that someone took the spot you wanted, but you CAN control how you move forward, or IF you move forward. Are you going to let that make you angry and ruin your day? Maybe. Are you going to be mildly annoyed, park a little further away, and go on about your day? It just depends on you and your emotional awareness at the time.

I bring this up because I recently dislocated my right shoulder… for the fifth time. I have had consistent knee injuries the past 10 years (ACL tears, meniscus tears, dislocations, bone bruises, ect.,) have dislocated both shoulders 3-5 times each, A/C separation on my left shoulder, SLAP tear on my left shoulder, sprained ankles, broken toes, and honestly I could go on. A lot, right? Some of these injuries were absolutely my fault, meaning: something felt weird, my stupid “athlete mentality” told me to push through it, and boom, something is not as it should be. Some of them, including this most recent one, just shouldn’t have happened, but it did.

Now I am faced with 2-6 weeks in a sling on my dominant arm (and a super sore neck,) modifying everything I have been working on in the gym, training 4-12 people daily, and everything taking twice as long. When I put it like that, it sounds depressing and sad. But, I am not depressed or sad. I am grateful that it wasn’t my knee again. I have accept that it happened, and as much as it sucks, I refuse to let it ruin my day (or the next 14-42 days.) I do slightly feel like I have let my clients down in some way, but I am so fortunate to have amazing clients/friends, that have all honestly made me feel better. Not one of them has related my injuries with my ability to coach and support them reaching their goals. Each person that I interact with has shown compassion, has been willing to help even though I am stubborn and don’t like needing help. All of my people *see previous post on finding your people* inspired me to stay positive, and to keep taking care of myself so I can hopefully avoid this in the future, or be better prepared to deal with it.

I say “hopefully” because no matter how much “injury prevention” you do, sometimes “stuff happens.” This shouldn’t have happened since I have been strengthening my shoulders for several years, but it did. It shouldn’t have happened considering that I can do several other, more challenging, actions and not get injured, but it did. It shouldn’t have happened because I see people with the worst movement patterns and too much load come out completely unscathed, but it did. I could get upset that I have been dealing with injuries pretty consistently most of my life. I could get upset and think about how “great I could be, if only…,” and I could be annoyed having to hear everyone’s input on how I shouldn’t do certain things and should probably stop working out (no joke,) but I am not. Stuff happens! I will work on rehabbing this one while continuing to do my best to prevent future ones. I will allow everyone to tell me their opinions because I know that behind their words is thoughtfulness and care, even if that is not how it comes across at first. When it comes down to it, I know my body, and I know what I need to do.

The reason I am writing this is not for sympathy, it is to remind you that sometimes things happen. Sometimes, life throws you curveballs. Sometimes things don’t go your way, and you have the choice to make on how you deal with it. I chose to not let this injury make me upset and dwell. I allowed myself time to process that it occurred, be sad for a little bit, and pull it together to set up a plan to recover and go on about life. I have been applying my annoyingly positive attitude to this, taken a look at all of the wonderful people that I interact with and support me, and decided that I am going to use it to become better than I was before.

What stuff has happened in your life that you wish you handled differently? OR what challenging situation are you proud of your response?

P.S. No, the pull ups in the photo are not how I injured my shoulder. That was from my workout prior to the injury. 😉

FIND YOUR PEOPLE!

This applies to life in general in my opinion, not just the gym. Sometimes we can get caught up with people that we think we should like. We’re drawn to something about them, and it might be good or it might be bad. In the past, I was constantly worried about “looking like a dude” if I had muscle. How did that thought get in my head? I had some of the wrong people in my life.

Full disclosure, when I started doing strength training, it was purely for vanity purposes. I wanted to “look good” and have people think that I was attractive or whatever “looking good” entailed. So, when people I was close with started to tell me that I should stop working out because I was starting to look like a man, it really hurt my feelings, and only made me workout more and eat less. What they could have done instead was mentioned that they cared about my health and wanted me to be healthy and happy, OR just not commented on my body that I was so clearly uncomfortable in.

The cool thing is, I have no hard feelings towards those people. I now see that they were just very unhappy with themselves, and were threatened that I was trying to make myself “better,” while they were perfectly okay with staying unhappy. I didn’t realize at the time those weren’t my people; even though I was wearing dresses, low cut shirts, 6” heels, a full face of makeup, and pretty much anything screaming for attention, I just thought I had to be uncomfortable and eventually I would get used to it. Now that I have amazing individuals in my life, I am wearing what I like and what I am comfortable in, which is workout clothes and Vans/Chucks, or if we’re going somewhere that that is not acceptable or I am feeling “fancy,” it’s jeans, a shirt or tank, and nicer Vans/Chucks.

Now that I have found who I am, I can confidently build relationships with the people that I chose to have in my life. The gym has been a key part to this process. If I hadn’t started lifting, I would never have left that toxic environment. I would never have moved to a new city I had never been to, never got a job at a gym, never made great friends (including my now husband,) built confidence in myself- mind and body, and I would not have the wonderful network of positivity in my life. Now I have people who think it’s cool that I like to pick up heavy stuff, and understand that I do it for fun (because they do too!) Now I have people who say that I am “strong” instead of commenting on the size of ANYTHING on my body (unless it’s in a good way #hamstringgoals.)

If you are starting to work on your health and fitness, and you have people making that seem like a negative thing, take some time to think about if they are worth having in your life. If so, call them out on it! Tell them how important your health is to you, and why what they are saying makes you feel negative. I say “health and fitness” because my journey did not start out as healthy at all. Your “people” will support you, ask questions and check in, and maybe even go to the gym with you. They will snap you out of “a funk” when you start to say negative things about your body, strength, confidence, ect. (shout out to my husband, Adrian, for working on this with me for years! It’s our anniversary and the photo is from our wedding!) Your people should add positivity to your life and care about you, and in return you will add positivity to their lives. You get to a point where you keep bringing each other up to the next level and growing as individuals and together. IT IS SO COOL!

If you’re not sure who your people are yet, work towards your “why,” and it will just happen. (psst-> https://ownfitnesspnw.com/2019/07/31/why-why-why/ ) Find your people that make you want to O.W.N. the day, the week, the year! Find your people that see you O.W.N. your life, and get inspired to do the same!

P.S. If you’re reading this, I consider you some of my people!

LISTEN to your body!

Most people think that the hardest part about reaching your fitness goals is making it to the gym. For some that may be true, but personally, I have a hard time listening to my body when I should NOT go to the gym. I love working out; it’s a great escape for my brain from everything else I have going on, and as silly as it sounds, it’s my “me time.” I try not to think about work, the dogs, what’s for dinner, the dishes that are in the sink, how dirty my car is, nothing. I feel great and can manage my thoughts better afterwards. The hard part for me is to remember more isn’t always better, and although I know this, I still have a hard time putting it into practice.

I recently went to visit my family for the Fourth of July. They live in a small town and my dad organizes the fireworks show there. That means that we help get the fireworks moved, built, wired, taken down, and moved back again. Now add that to my normal lifting schedule, sleeping on a different mattress, and bookend it with 6 hour drives. As I write this out, it would only make sense to take a day or two off, or maybe have a light week. Guess what I did the day I got back? Deadlifts… or I tried. They felt awful, I was tired, and the weight was super heavy. I left feeling annoyed and like I should have stayed home. Luckily, I stopped before I hurt myself, but I should have let my body recover more, and gone back when I was ready and crushed it.

I could have listened to my body saying that it was tired when it was more challenging than normal to get up off of the ground after playing with the dogs. I could have listened when I felt my whole body giving on lazy vibes taking forever to get ready. I could have listened when I was more focused on the annoying people at the gym than on my own warm up. I could have, but I didn’t, even though I know better. I am not worried anymore that I will lose results if I don’t go, and I know that recovery is immensely important, and yet I still made this mistake. But, instead of going back again today to make up for my poor workout- I took a rest day!

Instead of pushing my body even harder when it is so clearly telling me to rest, I chose to do some light mobility work, organize a bunch of files I have been neglecting, work on my business and write to all of you wonderful peeps. I am sharing my story because we all need reminders, even if this is just to myself. I need to make time for my body to recover. I need to make time for my brain to recover and find other ways to manage my stress. You need to listen to your body when it comes to a workout. It is okay to take rest days. It is okay to need time away from the gym. You will not “fall off the wagon” for missing one day, and you will be better prepared for your next workout when you allow proper recovery.

Our bodies are amazing and we should treat them as such! What do you guys do to help keep balance with the gym?