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FIND YOUR PEOPLE!

This applies to life in general in my opinion, not just the gym. Sometimes we can get caught up with people that we think we should like. We’re drawn to something about them, and it might be good or it might be bad. In the past, I was constantly worried about “looking like a dude” if I had muscle. How did that thought get in my head? I had some of the wrong people in my life.

Full disclosure, when I started doing strength training, it was purely for vanity purposes. I wanted to “look good” and have people think that I was attractive or whatever “looking good” entailed. So, when people I was close with started to tell me that I should stop working out because I was starting to look like a man, it really hurt my feelings, and only made me workout more and eat less. What they could have done instead was mentioned that they cared about my health and wanted me to be healthy and happy, OR just not commented on my body that I was so clearly uncomfortable in.

The cool thing is, I have no hard feelings towards those people. I now see that they were just very unhappy with themselves, and were threatened that I was trying to make myself “better,” while they were perfectly okay with staying unhappy. I didn’t realize at the time those weren’t my people; even though I was wearing dresses, low cut shirts, 6” heels, a full face of makeup, and pretty much anything screaming for attention, I just thought I had to be uncomfortable and eventually I would get used to it. Now that I have amazing individuals in my life, I am wearing what I like and what I am comfortable in, which is workout clothes and Vans/Chucks, or if we’re going somewhere that that is not acceptable or I am feeling “fancy,” it’s jeans, a shirt or tank, and nicer Vans/Chucks.

Now that I have found who I am, I can confidently build relationships with the people that I chose to have in my life. The gym has been a key part to this process. If I hadn’t started lifting, I would never have left that toxic environment. I would never have moved to a new city I had never been to, never got a job at a gym, never made great friends (including my now husband,) built confidence in myself- mind and body, and I would not have the wonderful network of positivity in my life. Now I have people who think it’s cool that I like to pick up heavy stuff, and understand that I do it for fun (because they do too!) Now I have people who say that I am “strong” instead of commenting on the size of ANYTHING on my body (unless it’s in a good way #hamstringgoals.)

If you are starting to work on your health and fitness, and you have people making that seem like a negative thing, take some time to think about if they are worth having in your life. If so, call them out on it! Tell them how important your health is to you, and why what they are saying makes you feel negative. I say “health and fitness” because my journey did not start out as healthy at all. Your “people” will support you, ask questions and check in, and maybe even go to the gym with you. They will snap you out of “a funk” when you start to say negative things about your body, strength, confidence, ect. (shout out to my husband, Adrian, for working on this with me for years! It’s our anniversary and the photo is from our wedding!) Your people should add positivity to your life and care about you, and in return you will add positivity to their lives. You get to a point where you keep bringing each other up to the next level and growing as individuals and together. IT IS SO COOL!

If you’re not sure who your people are yet, work towards your “why,” and it will just happen. (psst-> https://ownfitnesspnw.com/2019/07/31/why-why-why/ ) Find your people that make you want to O.W.N. the day, the week, the year! Find your people that see you O.W.N. your life, and get inspired to do the same!

P.S. If you’re reading this, I consider you some of my people!

Why? WHY?! WHY!

Find your “why” to get to the what! So deep and moody huh? Seriously though.

Why do you want to go to the gym? To lose weight? Why? To get jacked? Why? Because you know you’re supposed to? Why? A lot of times, people have a goal, but don’t really dig into why that is their goal. If someone told you that you should eat only cornflakes, would you just blindly follow them? If so, you’d probably be a really easy client to have, but you wouldn’t get the results that you COULD if you knew the why behind that. *I am NOT saying to do that… with any food.*

The why behind your actions will help you truly connect to the process, help with accountability, and make it more realistic because it’s something only you can decide and it’s what YOU want.

The goal of “weight loss” is a perfect example:

We still need the why behind each goal. Do you want to lose weight because you “should” so you feel healthier? What is healthy to you? Being able to do the activities you want to do?
Do you want to “look” a certain way? Why do you want to look that way? Are you wanting to look like YOUR version of that, or an exact copy. Spoiler: One of those thoughts can cause some serious issues with food and fitness relationships.
What about your health specifically do you think would improve with weighing less? Heart rate so you don’t feel winded as often? Cool, let’s focus on building your cardiovascular capacity as our main goal and let the weight not be our focus.
Is it hard to get up and down because you don’t have the strength and balance to do so? Cool, let’s work on strength and balance first and see how you feel.

If you go in with the only goal of “weight loss” or a vague idea, you will have a huge range of emotions. Mostly frustration and disappointment because the scale will never be a true statement of progress. It measures your weight, not health. The mirror is slightly more dependable, but not when you compare yourself to others, only your past self.

I workout because I enjoy being strong. I workout because it’s stress relief and helps keep me sane. I workout because being strong makes me happy and feel confident. I love the feeling of a challenge, and I am constantly adapting and accomplishing mini goals (and valuing the little wins for how important they are.) The sense of joy I get from working out is so powerful, I chose to make it my career. It saved my life, and I feel that I can influence someone to help make their lives more positive through being active. That is my why.

What is your why?! Reach out on IG: @ownfitnesspnw or FB: facebook.com/ownfitnesspnw and let me know!

Positive > Negative

It’s very easy to have a negative mindset, sometimes without even realizing it. If we are constantly telling ourselves these small, negative statements, eventually it adds up. ‘Oh, my left leg is my weaker leg because it’s injured from high school.’ (*A statement I have actually said/thought for years.) Instead of saying that your left leg isn’t good enough and staying attached to an injury that happened ten years ago, try saying “non- dominant” instead of weak. You WERE injured, but you’re not now. Your brain controls your body, right? If you’re always telling your brain that “I’m injured,” your body will act as if it is. If you tell yourself that it’s getting stronger, you will start to notice new things that you can do.

I hear people all the time say that they just want to “tone” but they don’t want to get “too big.” My first instinct for a long time was to roll my eyes… and then I remember that I definitely have said those statements before. Now I know how to dig a little deeper with the client and say “tone means muscle tone, so we can help build some muscle so they show more.” Or “how big is too big? Professional bodybuilders?” And I can explain that it will never accidentally happen, and it’s actually really hard to get “big.”

Things to think about when you talk about the gym:

Muscle > Bulky.

Non dominant > Weak.

I get to workout > I have to workout.

Progress > Failure.

I firmly believe that the effort you put in mentally will determine if you are successful or not. As you work on these positive thoughts, don’t get discouraged if you have a hard time changing. You may not be good at them YET, but try to keep working on it, and the positivity will just feed off itself. Eventually, you may even be “annoyingly positive” like I claim to be! (Trust me, it’s great!!)

I’d love to hear more examples of how you have used the power of positivity to help accomplish your goals!

When the sunshine calls

It’s hard to keep up with any routine, let alone one that keeps you inside during the summer. This is especially true in the PNW, am I right? We enjoy our sunshine and want to be in it as much as possible.

It’s fun to have more daylight and be able to spend time outside with friends, but you have worked too hard on your health routine to give up now. Think about incorporating a few of these ideas to keep you on track with your health and fitness goals.

-Indoors killing your summer vibes- Instead of going to the gym to do your conditioning, why not take it outside? If you normally run on the treadmill, try going for a run in your neighborhood. If you normally take the bus to work, try to ride a bike part of the way. The best part- YOU are the resistance and speed so adjust as needed to fit your goals.

-Playgrounds and parks aren’t just for kids- If you have access to a park with stairs, try creating a workout on there. Step ups, Single leg drop downs, Push ups, Bear Crawl, Toe Taps, etc. Don’t even get me started if you have a resistance band; you can do a total body workout with those!

-The buddy system- Before you guys celebrate “Taco Tuesday,” make a date with your activity of choice. Not because tacos are “bad,” (they are most definitely not bad!) Do it because you care about your body, and as wonderful as tacos are, you shouldn’t turn your back on your goals for them. Balance is key and it helps to have an accountability buddy!

-Modify frequency- If you used to go to the gym 4 days a week, try to keep 2 days in the gym for full body days. That way you at least get a little bit of everything and can keep up with your routine.

If you know that you won’t do any of these on your own, there are options for you. You could try a group class just to keep something in your schedule and still have community. Some even have outdoor classes! Groups not your thing? Try reaching out to a fitness professional in your area for private sessions. Accountability is hard and it’s okay to need help with it!

Enjoy the sunshine Peeps!

-Shea